Monday, September 13

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."

Today was my 1100 calorie day. i had:

  • Meatball mariana - 319 Calories
  • A roll - 75 calories
  • 2 chunks of chocolate - 70 calories
  • chicken - 250 calories
  • peas - 70 calories
  • a boiled potatoe - 100 calories
  • 2 sausages - 200 calories
Total: 1084 Calories :|

Sunday, September 12

New start

Okay, i did use the blog as a place to post tips & thinspo etc but i got into recovery and i got slightly better but now im starting collage its all comeing back so i have decided to use this blog as my diary of my year in collage.
okay lets start with the basics:
My name is Rhi
Im from the UK
I have had an ED since i was 13
I am 16.
I am doing Maths, Chem, Phys, Bio for A levels
Im 5'9 and 120 pounds.
Im 35-23-33
and to start this thing off i have a new diet thats stating frmo tomorow
its like the ABC but you add 600 calories each day because i know if i go down low streight away i will fail and binge and gain weight so this is it:
1.) 1100
2.) 1100
3.) 900
4.) 1000
5.) 700
6.) 800
7.) 900
8.) 1000
9.) 1100
10.) 600
11.) 750
12.) 800
13.) 1000
14.) 950
15.) 850
16.) 800
17.) 600
18.) 800
19.) 700
20.) 600
21.) 900
22.) 850
23.) 800
24.) 750
25.) 700
26.) 650
27.) 700
28.) 800
29.) 800
30.) 900
31.) 1700
32.) 600
33.) 850
34.) 950
35.) 1050
36.) 600
37.) 1100
38.) 1050
39.) 1000
40.) 950
41.) 900
42.) 850
43.) 800
44.) 800
45.) 850
46.) 800
47.) 900
48.) 800
49.) 750
50.) 600
So thats my plan and so like i have said im going to describe my life on this blog and how my life will change and my emotians and of course my weight loss and gain :|

Monday, March 8

Sui Fei Fei Thinspo


Pro Ana Quotes

Here are a few of the quotes I've picked up around pro-ana sites. (Disclaimer: I do not necessarily believe in any of these quotes... I am simply making them available for your perusal.)
*Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
*I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.
*I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
*Be like a postage stamp... stick with it until you get there.
*The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow.
*A moment on lips..... forever on the hips.
*Bones define who we really are -- let them show.
*Craving is only a feeling.
*Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better. Food is good; thin is better.
*You've come too far in life to take orders from a cookie!
*Not eating light makes your clothes tight.
*Food IS the DEVIL! It'll only bring you one step closer to looking like Fat Bastard.
*Thin has a taste all its own.
*Calories can't make you happy.
*If it tastes good, It's trying to kill you.
*Success won't just come to you - it has to be met at least half way.
*Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle.
*You have to believe in yourself. And you have to down deep within the bottom of your soul, feel that you can do the job that you've set out to do.
*An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person.
*I'm not starving myself... I'm perfecting my emptiness.
*We become like what we love.
*Don't give up what you want most for something you want in the moment.
*The secret of success is the consistency to pursue.
*When it comes to losing weight, those who can, do; those that can't make excuses.
*Everything depends upon the right action of the will.
*Don't eat. If you want to see food, look in the mirror at your thighs.
*You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
*The word is control. That's my ultimate - to have control.
*Eat to live, but don't live to eat.
*I don't take the first little bite; I don't begin. I have no problem.
*Every time you say "No Thank you", you say, "Yes Please" to Thin.
*Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
*Don't do anything today that you'll regret tomorrow.
*The hungrier you are, the more fat you burn.
*Thinner is the winner!

You can never be too rich or too thin.
Of course it's hard; if it were easy, everyone would be thin!
This is forever. I will do whatever it takes. I want to be thin more than anything, even food.
Starvation is fulfilling. Colors become brighter, sounds sharper, odors so much more savory and penetrating that inhalation fills every fibre and pore of the body. The greatest enjoyment of food is actually found when never a morsel passes the lips.
One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure, clean shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
You will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you shall enjoy the twenty minutes or so that you will be consuming empty calories, whether you will cordially despise yourself for two or three days for lack of willpower.
Nothing. Nothing is wrong, and asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules. You're strong; don't let them break you. They're trying to destroy you.
Quod me nutrit, me destruit. (That which nourishes me destroys me.)
Why can't they realize my strength, how much it's taken to make so little of myself?
It's simple: you decide once and for all that you aren't going to eat, and there is no further decision to make.
In the body, as in sculpture, perfection is not attained when there is nothing left to add, but nothing left to take away.
They always say they're concerned about me, about my health, when all they want to do is control me. They want to pin me down and force-feed me with lies, with what they call love. Like prisoners everywhere, all I have left is the power to refuse.
I do eat normally; I eat only what is necessary for survival. I can't help it that we live in a piggish society where gluttony is the norm, and everyone else is constantly stuffing themselves.
When I wake, I'm empty, light, light-headed. I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist, each time achieving another small victory of the will.
When you coast without eating for a significant period of time, and you are still alive, you begin to scoff at those fools who believe they must eat to live. It is blatantly obvious to you that this is not true.
Food hinders your progress.
You've made a decision: you will NOT stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand anything.
You can learn to love anything, I think, if you need to badly enough. I trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry. If my stomach contracts, or I wake up feeling nauseated, or I'm light-headed or have a hunger headache, or better yet, all of the above, it means I'm getting thinner, so it feels good. I feel strong, on top of myself, in control.
There is no TRY. There is only DO.
I want to be so thin, light, airy, that ...
          ... when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
          ... when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint to mar
              its virgin purity.
          ... I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.

Sunday, March 7

Scene Thinspo


Monday, March 1

The Ana Zodiac

Aries: Constantly challenge yourself to lose more more


Taurus: Physical hardship is your strength. Exercise and restrict a lot.

Gemini: Communicate your feelings, achivements and frustrations about ana to others, preferably online though!

Cancer: Spend your days cooking for *others* instead of yourself.

Leo: Be proud of every achievement you make, and know that more is in store.

Virgo: Remember that your past fat was an injustice against you.

Libra: You are adept at finding true balance between eating and restricting.

Scorpio: Hate hate hate hate hate HATE HATE HATE HATE food. And know you'll get more partners when thinner.

Sagitterious: Don't supress hunger pangs- enjoy them!

Capricorn : "Thou Shalt Not"s work perfectly for you.

Aquarius: Think outside of the box- innovate new diets and routines for optimal effeciency!

Pisces: Dream about your target weight- and know that it is a possibility.